Perserverence

Rehabilitating my behavior has become a significantly difficult undertaking. It is often difficult to continuously police my actions and to make sure all my thoughts are righteous. I am still in the early stages of my transformation but there is alot of work that needs to be done in redefining my principles. The battle to attain a level head and overcome my fears has been won but there are still many bad habits that need to be broken. Yes, I have given up drinking but there is so much more that also requires attention.You see, kicking the booze bottle aside was easy but replacing the habit has been difficult. There is also the issue of cleaning up my mannerisms, sense of humor, my anger and the way I treat and view women. Just like alcohol, Jesus has washed away all my sins in each of these areas. I have to be honest though, it is not been an easy endeavor because the more you clean up the less certain you become of yourself. My entire identity has been shaped around my old habits and now that I have booted them; I often feel very lost. The only real sense of direction I have, is my faith. I consult God on almost everything. I need to persevere. I know that time heals everything and I have never been more willing to change - on my own accord. I am doing this for myself and for those whom matter most. I really believe that Jesus pulled me clear from the fire and I do not intend on turning my back on him. I need to persevere now more than ever. There will be times when I feel like breaking down or giving up but there is no quitting this.

My grandfather spent a life time discovering what it really was that God intended him to do. My journey has just begun, the task is daunting but not impossible. I feel like a clean canvas that is in desperate need of a righteous artist. A midst of all this uncertainty, I know just the right man for the job. I entrust my life to Jesus Christ and grant him permission to paint my canvas with all the splendor that he so desires. It does not matter how long this process takes because I know that the Lord can turn each and every mess into a masterpiece.  

Hebrews 10:36 

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

Romans 5:3-4 

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that sufferingproduces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope